The Republican Party

The Republican Party often refers to itself as the GOP.  Many believe this stands for “Grand Old Party”, but the original meaning was “Gallant Old Party”.  When cars were first being manufactured this also came to mean “Get Out and Push”.  The GOP began in 1856 with the nomination of John C. Fremont for president.  In 1860 Abraham Lincoln, the first Republican president, was elected and of course became one of the most revered presidents of all time.  The party claims it is built on the principles of equality for all, reducing the size of government, streamlining bureaucracy, and returning power to individual states.  The early accomplishments of the party tend to support these ideals, which include:

The Emancipation Proclamation

Issued in 1863 at the height of The Civil War, The Emancipation Proclamation declared that all persons held as slaves within the rebellious states were free.  Although this didn’t free all slaves, it did free most of the south.  This of course was not a constitutional amendment but was a granted war power of Abraham Lincoln.

The Thirteenth Amendment

Adopted in 1865, the Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery and involuntary servitude in the United States.  This completed and solidified what The Emancipation Proclamation started two years earlier.

The Fourteenth Amendment

Adopted on July 9th, 1868 the Fourteenth Amendment provides a very broad definition of U.S. citizenship.  This amendment, among other things, overturned a court ruling that blacks could not be U.S. citizens.  Its Due Process Clause protects citizens and corporations from loss of life, liberty, or property without a public trial.  This amendment also requires each state to provide equal protection to everyone within its jurisdiction which lead to the dismantling of racial segregation in the United States.  It is interesting to note that some Republican’s now want to repeal this amendment as it gives children of illegal aliens citizenship.

The Fifteenth Amendment

Ratified on February 3rd, 1870 the Fifteenth Amendment prevents state and federal government from prohibiting a citizen’s right to vote based on “race, color, or previous condition of servitude”.  Former slaves can now vote.

The Nineteenth Amendment

Ratified on August 18th, 1920 the Nineteenth Amendment prevents state or federal government from denying citizens the right vote based on sex.  Woman can now vote.

The Republicans are off to a great start.  They freed the slaves, protected U.S. citizens from the possibility of a predatory government, desegregated the nation, and made sure all citizens were able to vote.  There is simply no way I could not support a group of politicians working toward the goals outlined above.  Let’s see what the GOP is up too today.

As with all things I went to the Internet to find what I was looking for.  What better way to see what a party stands for then to go to their website.  I typed in http://www.gop.com/ and was redirected to http://www.novemberstartsnow.com/ .  No problem, elections are coming up and the marketing has begun.  So here at the home of the Republicans I find they stand for:

• Barack Obama’s presidency has been a disaster. He is either unwilling to or incapable of doing his job.
• The economy is in shambles.
• The government is failing.
• Americans are losing hope.
• Barack Obama was not ready to be President.

I can take away from this that the Republicans stand for not believing in Barack Obama and they have intense fear for what the future holds.  This isn’t good, but it is just the first page.  I’ll read further.

I clicked on the “Continue to the GOP” button and am now at the site I was looking for.  On this page I will find what Republicans are all about.  Here are the headlines:

• First Steps Down the Road to Appeal – This covers states trying to undo Obama’s health care plan.
• Buck Passing Catching Up to Obama and Pelosi – This discusses how Obama always blames George W. Bush for what’s wrong with America.
• Rising Unemployment Welcomes President Obama To Atlanta – This ties Obama to rising unemployment in Georgia.

At the bottom of this list of articles is a link that says “Read more and react” which actually made me laugh out loud.  See the articles here are all reactionary.  It’s funny.  I’m funny too.

Fortunately they have a “Who We Are” section, and since that’s why I’m here I’ll check it out.  Here are the bullets I took from that page:

• It all started with people who opposed slavery.
• The Republican Party also played a leading role in securing women the right to vote.
• Republicans believe individuals, not government, can make the best decisions
• Under Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, the United States won the Cold War, releasing millions from Communist oppression, in true anti-big government Republican spirit.

All these items are true, and they are great.  But they all exist in the relatively distant past.  The GOP also has a Learn tab so I’ll head there now.

The Learn tab was a jackpot.  There is a page that is titled “What We Believe”.  Here is an overview:

• We’re fortunate to live in America.
• You can be what you are, and become what you are capable of becoming.
• Helping those around you is worthwhile.
• Small government is a better government for the people.
• You know what to do with your money better than government.
• Free markets keep people free.
• Our Armed Forces defend and protect our democracy.

Too bad this is buried under tons of negative press against the president.  Here we have what the GOP claims to be about, and from reading it I would say I support all but a couple of points.  Here is the problem; it doesn’t look to me like the party actually stands for these ideas.  Let’s look at each point:

We are fortunate to live in America – This is an emotional statement.  I have seen it used to force a wedge between people trying to make genuine change and those trying to keep power where it stands.  You see if I speak out against something I don’t appreciate the country, or if I try to change something I’m an enemy.  I could also use this statement to condemn the status quo depending on how I want to position it.  The statement is pointless as it can be used as a blunt instrument to attack any point of view.  At face value it is correct, we are fortunate to live in America.

You can be what you are, and become what you are capable of becoming – Interesting statement and I like it. It is empowering and understanding.  I’m OK and you’re OK sort of position.  I agree with this.

Helping those around you is worthwhile – While the statement is accurate of course, it is an interesting way to word the sentiment.  I guess it would be like Jesus saying, “Give to the poor and the helpless if you have the time.”  The GOP recognizes the value of charity but doesn’t promote it very well.

Small government is a better government for the people – The only way to accurately measure the size of government is by the amount it spends.  I mean if the government suddenly offered 500 new social services that didn’t cost any money to the taxpayers would it be bigger government?  Obviously a broken premise, but it gets the idea across.  If my system of measurement holds up then the government under the Republican Party has become so immensely huge that it can no longer function under its own weight.  During the presidency of George W. Bush the debt almost doubled from $5.7 trillion to $10.6 trillion.  Most of this time was spent with a Republican majority in both the House and the Senate.  Point to war or 9-11 or anything you like and it doesn’t change the fact that small government is not what the Republican Party stands for.  It’s so obvious they should just stop pushing it.  Deficit spending like this hasn’t happened since Reagan, who is thought of by many to be the ideal Republican.  Stop it with the small government crap, you don’t believe it and everyone knows it.

You know what to do with your money better than government – A truer statement has never been made.  However, though the statement is true, the spirit behind it is a bit different.  See this is a preamble to demand lower taxes.  Lower taxes are great, and right now the poor and middle class are paying less than they did under the Republicans.  The wealthy are taking a hit now, but from what I’ve seen not too terribly bad.  So while I do know what to do with my money, the taxes I pay are the cost of living in America.  And the highest tax bracket right now is less than most industrialized nations by quite a bit.

Free markets keep people free – Another confusingly positive statement.  Instead of me droning on about how the GOP doesn’t actually believe this just look up how many Republican representatives voted for the Wall Street Bailout.  It was probably a good idea and it is possible that the future is brighter because of it, but it would not have happened in a free market economy.  A free market decides what lives and dies within its purview, and there are no do-overs.  According to a free market most of the banks and financial institutions were intended to go under because they did not operate in a fiscally responsible manner.  The market was in the process of removing these institutions presumably to make room for better managed ones until the government stepped in and fixed it. The United States is not a free market economy, and maybe it shouldn’t be.  Don’t confuse a free market with Democracy or a managed market with Communism.  One is a system of economics and the other is a system of government.  The two concepts are often confused by groups purposefully to scare people.

Our Armed Forces defend and protect our democracy – While it is possible to use this statement to support the continued funneling of an unsustainable amount of money into the military industrial complex, it is a true one.  Any misuse of the concept would be obvious and need not be discussed.

Let’s return now to the core values of the Republican Party which are stated as equality for all, reducing the size of government, streamlining bureaucracy, and returning power to individual states.

Equality for All

Currently Republicans are reconsidering the 14th Amendment.  Specifically they no longer want to automatically grant citizenship to children born in the United States.  Birthright Citizenship has been an issue for a long time in fringe right wing groups, but it is making its way to the front of the party.  With all of the questionable laws getting thrown around in Arizona, it would seem now is the time to push this agenda.

Also in the realm of equality are taxes.  Republicans seem to scream for lower taxes from the mountain tops, but they are not clear on what they want lowered.  I hear about capital gains tax, the top end tax rates, and taxes on business.  A tax I have not heard about from the GOP is payroll tax.  Payroll tax is also called withholding tax, and it is taken out of an employee’s check before they receive it. Here is where the equality issue comes in.  Payroll tax is applied to the first $106, 800 earned per year.  If you make $106,800 or less then 100% of your income is hit by the payroll tax.  If you make $1 million dollars per year then 10% is taxed in this fashion.  If Republicans are so against taxes, why do they never speak of this one?  My guess is that they know payroll taxes fuel social security and though they claim to hate that social program people seem to love it.  Also large businesses are not hit too hard by payroll tax, and the wealthy barely notice it.  These are guesses but this doesn’t look like equality for all.

Reducing the size of Government

We have covered this.  The GOP increased the size of government beyond most people’s wildest imaginations.  Conservative predictions estimate that it will take over 20 years to reduce the government to a manageable level without causing further damage.

Streamlining Bureaucracy

During the previous eight years of GOP lead government the tax code has increased by over 30%.  This included massive savings at the highest income levels, and almost no change at the bottom.  I will give them the Patriot Act however.  This cut through bureaucracy like a razor.

Returning Power to the States

This idea seems to be currently championed by the Tea Party within the GOP.  I have not heard much about it specifically as of late however it is certainly a core principle of the party and one the Democrats oppose on many levels.

So what I take away from the Republican Party is this:

1. They were once a great party for the people.
2. They know exactly what they stand against but not so much what they stand for.
3. They use emotionally charged statements that confuse rather than communicate.
4. They are a party of opposition, not of ideas.

This started strong but ended badly.  Let’s see if the Dems can do any better.

NEXT UP: The Democratic Party

Can't we just get along?

As I was watching CSPAN one evening I was surprised to learn two very important things.  The first was that the process in which our Congress discusses issues and executes solutions is broken in such a profound way we may need to just start that thing over.  The second was I didn’t think I was a democrat anymore.  This was the first time I had a thought like that as I have been a democrat since I decided to pay attention to politics.

I was born in 1971, so by the time I cared at all about the president it was during the Reagan administration with massive deficit spending as well as high treason in the form of the whole Iran-Contra affair.  Ollie didn’t do that alone.  This was followed by Bush senior who slammed me with two messages.  Those were that we were at war with drugs and he would impose no new taxes.  Drugs were more resilient than Iraq so though we ran Saddam out of Kuwait drugs won the war, and then Bush of course had to raise taxes and so died the failed idea of Supply Side Economics.  Or so we thought.  Bush senior only served one term because the people felt he went back on his word of no new taxes.  People didn’t seem to consider that we were engaged in a war and the economy was limping by.  Since we actually started recording history no society had ever fought a war without raising taxes so Bush got blasted for doing the right thing.  His son George W. would show us what happens when you fight a war and lower taxes.  It’s really great.

Then came The Man from Hope.  Clinton was the first president in my lifetime that I actually liked.  He seemed to be in tune with the people that elected him, and even cool to a point which was an attribute missing from the White House since Kennedy.  I fell in line with this guy and began to pay careful attention to what he was doing.  When the 1993 Clinton-Gore Deficit Reduction Act was passed I actually read it.  This historic event marks the first time I read a bill, and it actually made sense.  It also passed without a single republican vote.  Strange that the party that wanted fiscal discipline and less spending wouldn’t get behind a bill that was pushing for exactly those two things.  Now I started paying attention to the Republicans because I wanted to understand why they wouldn’t support their own ideals.  Remember I was 22 years old and not a political science student, so I really didn’t know at this point.  Clinton messed around on his wife and got caught.  He lied about the affair and dug the hole deeper.  Although I was amazed that an impeachment hearing was called for this, I now know of course Newt Gingrich and his boys were going to attack Clinton any way they could.  The economy was booming, unemployment was down, the Russians didn’t want to kill us, and China didn’t own us yet.  Monica Lewinsky was the best they could do so they went with it.  Clinton was wrong for what he did, and the rest of Washington was wrong for spending millions trying to bring him down for it.

In 2001 George W. Bush took the reins of the country firmly in his hands and fell fast asleep.  I assume he was dreaming of oil, which would become relevant to his presidency in a few years.  When I say he was asleep of course I’m exaggerating.  He was on vacation, so I’m sure he was up and about doing something.  Charles Krauthammer wrote an article for The Washington Post called “A Vacation Bush Deserves” on 8-10-01.  In this article Mr. Krauthammer analyzed what the president spent his time on during his first eight months in office. The analysis showed that President Bush spent 42% of this time either traveling to a vacation, on a vacation, or returning from a vacation.  I have not personally crunched these numbers so I can’t be certain they are accurate, but from what evidence I have seen I bet they are in the ballpark.  Nine months into his presidency Bush Jr. started paying attention because the terrorist threat he heard people talking about hit home.  No need to discuss 9-11, it is horrifying and may not be Bush’s fault though it is his responsibility.  This event was a springboard for a legitimate attack on Afghanistan, an illegal war in Iraq, loss of liberty in the United States, and a mortal strike to the economy.  Remember earlier I mentioned that no society had ever gone to war without raising taxes?  President Bush went to war and lowered taxes.  A twisted version of Reagan’s Supply Side Economics returned to further weaken the U.S. economy, and man it worked.  Bush’s version of this economic plan was a free-market ideology designed to de-emphasize the role of government in the private sector and it did so in the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001, the Job Creation and Worker Assistance Act of 2002 and the Jobs and Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2003.  Tax Reconciliation is a great way of saying reducing taxes.  The name suggests that the government is returning something that it shouldn’t have taken.  I think that’s an interesting view.  We will move on without discussing hurricane Katrina because this isn’t an “I Hate Bush” rally.  I do, but that’s not what this is about.

Barack Hussein Obama took over what may be the biggest mess in American history in 2009.  Although he has not yet had enough time to get done what he has set out to do, it appears he is trying.  It is unfortunate that he is being fought tooth and nail by Congress to make the country better.  That sounds incredibly biased and I almost deleted that last line but I can’t seem to find another way to word it.  I agree Obama’s ideas are far from perfect, but they are better than where we are now.  It would also seem that his ideas are either clearly superior to others being offered or the only ones on the table.  These are very generalized statements, but the message I’m going for here is I’m hoping for the best but not enough is happening right now.  The Republicans are doing everything in their power to keep Obama from achieving anything, and more than a few opportunistic Democrats are taking advantage of this by trying to sell their support for bills as opposed to voting their conscience.

And this brings me to my crisis of faith.  Can I support a party that can’t manage its own affairs, support its own ideals, or use its power to correct the crippling problems of the recent past?  I need to take a close look at the Democratic and Republican Parties and see exactly where I fit in.

NEXT UP: The Republican Party

It’s time for the annual Sunnydale High talent show, and Principal Snyder has forced Giles to manage the affair.  While making fun of Giles’ new responsibilities, Buffy, Willow and Xander are overheard by Snyder and get drafted as well.  As with most high school events, a student is quickly found dead with her heart removed.

Dummies are just creepy.

As the gang begins looking into the matter, early evidence points to a student named Morgan.   It’s not enough that he’s brilliant and geeky, but he has chosen to further distinguish himself before his classmates with a ventriloquist act.  Clearly Morgan is bucking to become one of the popular kids.  Buffy questions Morgan about the dead student and he becomes very nervous and appears to be in pain.  During this exchange Morgan talks to his ventriloquist dummy Sid as if he was actually listening.  This does not calm Buffy’s concern.  Later that day Buffy searches Morgan’s locker only to find Sid’s case empty.  That evening Buffy is attacked in bed by Sid.  She fights him off and Sid escapes.

The next day at school Buffy, Willow and Xander meet with Giles at the library.  They discuss a group of demons that can appear as humans, but to do so requires a set of human organs every seven years.  Buffy has doubts that Morgan, a geeky student who appears weak and frail, could be an immortal demon with super strength.  Willow’s research uncovers information on how dolls can become human by collecting human organs as well.

Searching for Morgan, Buffy finds him dead with his brain removed.  Just as it is becoming clear that Morgan isn’t an organ hungry demon, an iron chandelier falls from the ceiling onto Buffy.  Sid attacks while she is trapped with a large knife.  After a scuffle they both realize that the other isn’t a demon.  Sid reveals he is actually a demon hunter.

Back at the library Sid explains to the gang that he was once human and a demon cursed him into the form of a dummy.  Sid believes this same demon is in the talent show looking for organ donors, and if he can kill it the curse will be lifted.

Morgan’s brain is found at the talent show.  After a look into Morgan’s medical records it is clear that Morgan had brain cancer, and it would appear that made it unsuitable for the demon’s purposes.  The demon still needs a brain.

Giles must continue managing the talent show while also looking for the demon.  Marc, a student putting on a magic show requires Giles help backstage.  His guillotine act requires a partner, so incredibly Giles lies on the guillotine and gets strapped in.  He asks Marc what the trick is, and the reply is “there is no trick”.  Needless to say Giles panics.

Fortunately the gang arrives and Buffy holds off Marc while Xander saves Giles.  Marc transforms into his horrible demon form and Buffy takes him down.  Sid reveals that the demon isn’t dead until its heart is destroyed and stabs it in the chest.  The demon is dead and Sid’s curse is lifted allowing his spirit to move on.  The curtain opens to reveal a school auditorium filled to capacity trying to figure out what they are looking at.  Snyder asks if it’s performance art, and states he doesn’t “get it”.

During the credits we get too see the act that Buffy, Willow and Xander performed at the talent show.  This clip was shown only during the first airing of the episode on May 5^th, 1997. The DVD Box set also contains this bit but it cannot be seen in syndication.  This is too bad because it’s hysterical.

I Robot…You Jane is the first of many Willow-centric episodes, and does a great job of beginning the characterization process in much more depth than we have seen up to date.  The title is also amusing as it is a combination of Isaac Asimov’s “I, Robot” and the Tarzan quote “Me Tarzan, you Jane”.  Both of these references become relevant in the episode.  This is also the first appearance of Jenny Calendar.  She holds the distinction of being the first on-screen love interest of Giles, and the first primary character to be killed.

We begin in the middle ages at a monastery.  A large demon names Moloch is holding court surrounded by young men.  The demon professes that all he wants is love from his followers then breaks one of their necks.  Elsewhere a group of monks are all chanting around an old book.  The lead monk opens the book and the demon is pulled into it and locked away in a box.

Sweet sweet Willow

Cut to a box being opened in the Sunnydale High School library.  Dave and Fritz, two aspiring computer geeks, are helping Xander and Willow scan the school’s library into computer files.  Ms. Calendar, the computer science teacher, is also overseeing the operation and never misses an opportunity to criticize Giles on his obvious dislike of technology in general and computers specifically. The book that the monks used to trap the demon is being scanned by Willow.  During the scanning process the text of the book begins to disappear.  Although Willow doesn’t see the computer screen, the text on it reads, “Where am I?”.

A few days later Willow begins having an online relationship with a boy named Malcolm.  It is clear that Buffy is concerned about this relationship the moment Willow reveals it too her.  Not knowing how to research someone online, Buffy turns to the computer geek Dave for assistance.  Dave is not only resistant to the idea of checking out Malcolm he makes it clear that Buffy needs to mind her own business.

Ms. Calendar, again in the library messing with Giles, begins thumbing through the demon book Willow scanned.  Giles looks the book over and becomes concerned after seeing the demon on the cover.

Dave approaches Buffy and tells her Willow is looking for her in the girls’ locker room.  Fritz has set a trap for Buffy in the locker room with a running shower and a live electrical wire.  At the last moment Dave warns Buffy and she leaps to safety, though she got enough of a shock to have smoking shoes.  Dave, speaking to a computer, tells it he won’t kill Buffy.  The computer begins typing up Dave’s a suicide note.

Giles, Buffy, and Xander are discussing demons in the library.  Giles explains that in the Dark Ages, certain magical books were used to trap the souls of demons.  These books could restrain the demons, and would do so until they were read aloud.  This would release the demon.  It is clear that Willow released the demon into the Internet.  Giles also explains that this particular book held the essence of Moloch the Corruptor.  Moloch was notorious for seducing young minds into doing his bidding, and it is obvious this is what happened to Fritz and Dave.  In an attempt to stop Moloch, Buffy tries to delete his “file” from Willow’s computer.  Moloch appears on the monitor and acts very demony and tells Buffy to stay away from Willow.

Buffy, while looking for Willow too keep her away from Malcolm (Moloch), finds the body of Dave hanging in the computer lab, along with his bogus suicide note.  Willow in the meantime is getting kidnapped by Fritz and taken to a computer warehouse.

Although Giles has extensive knowledge on the occult, he knows nothing about computers or the Internet.  In desperation he asks Ms. Calendar for help.  In doing so he finds that she too

This guy isn't right for Willow.

has occult knowledge, and indeed refers to herself as a “techno-pagan”.  Together they begin casting the spell used by the monks in the Dark Ages to bind Moloch to the book, but this time direct it into the Internet.

Buffy and Xander follow Willow’s trail to the computer warehouse. As they are arriving Moloch reveals himself to Willow as himself, and not the Malcolm persona he has been using.  The demon has downloaded himself into a robot that somewhat resembles the form he had as a demon.  He kills Fritz as a demonstration of the fact he’s an ass then when it is clear Willow won’t love him moves into position to break hers as well.  It is at this time that he becomes aware of Buffy and Xander, and begins to move towards them.  Just then the spell Giles and Ms. Calendar are casting kicks in, and Moloch is bound.  Not bound to the book this time, but to the robot body he is in.

Now that he can’t download himself into the Internet, he is vulnerable.  Buffy performs the usual fisticuffs and positions him where he punches a fuse box and electrocutes himself to death.

Nice guy Angel

The Master wants his revenge for the many inconveniences Buffy has piled upon him so he sends three vampires to take care of the job.  Buffy, having spent an evening at The Bronze, is jumped on her way home and action ensues.  Angel leaps from the shadows to assist and gets himself hurt, so he and Buffy retreat to her house.   She tends to his wound, and the sexual tension increases between them.  Angel spends the night on Buffy’s floor next to the bed, being a perfect gentleman.

At school the next day Buffy’s three attackers are identified as “warrior vampires”.  This concerns Giles as he feels Buffy’s training has been lacking as of late so he turns up the heat.  After the workout Buffy heads home to find Angel waiting for her.  They both reveal that they have strong feelings for each other, and after a moment share a passionate kiss.  Angel pulls away quickly and too Buffy’s horror he is a vampire.

Angel meets up with his on again off again lover for the past 200 years Darla (later revealed to be his sire) and she suggests that spending too much time with The Slayer has made him soft and he needed to come back into the evil fold.  Up to his usual research Giles uncovers that Angel was also known as Angelus, a 240 year old vampire.  He was especially evil and tore up Europe for over a century until he came to America around 80 years ago.  It would seem that since he arrived in the new world his killing had all but stopped and he no longer associated with other vampires.

Darla, having no intention of leaving her old lover in the hands of The Slayer, heads of too Buffy’s house to handle the situation personally.  Gaining an easy invitation from Joyce, Buffy’s mother, Darla wastes no time biting her.  Having been prowling around Buffy’s house trying to figure out how to explain the situation to her, Angel sees the attack and charges to Joyce’s rescue.  Darla throws Joyce to Angel and beats a hasty retreat.  With absolutely perfect timing Buffy enters the house and rightfully assumes Angel bit her

Mean guy Angelus

now unconscious mother.  Angel is forcefully removed from the house, and Buffy decides it’s time to kill Angel.

Tacking Angel to The Bronze, Buffy arrives with crossbow in hand ready to kill the man she has been falling for.  Angel quickly explains that although he was a monster that had done many terrible things he has been cursed with a soul in order for him to suffer for all the things he had done.  As he was making some headway in saving his own life Darla shows up…with guns.  Darla begins shooting up the joint with a gun in each hand trying to kill Buffy and get her man back.  To save his new love, Angel stakes Darla in the back killing her.  The Master is insane with rage over this as Darla was his favorite child.

Angel and Buffy realize that their relationship is impossible and agree they should no longer see each other romantically.  They share a final kiss, and as Buffy walks away we see Angel’s chest has been seared by the cross she wears around her neck.

The cool kids are out in force tormenting the geeks on this Sunnydale High field trip to the zoo.  Buffy, Xander, and Willow all catch some hell from the in-crowd as does a particularly introverted and shy young student names Lance.  After they harass Lance and take his notebook, the cool kids enter the hyena exhibit that is of course chained off and has a large sign that says no admittance.  Lance follows close behind hoping to get his notebook back.

Xander Harris

Xander may be a geek, but he’s no coward.  Concerned for Lance Xander enters the hyena exhibit in hopes of getting him out of there before he gets pummeled.  While waiting for Xander to return, Buffy and Willow meet the zookeeper who tells them that hyenas are more intelligent than most people think.  He explains that many tribes believe that a hyena can understand human speech, will learn people’s names, and in the dark of night will call out to them in order to lure them away from their camp and eat them.

Lance is not faring well in his attempt to get back his notebook, and the in-crowd is starting to get physical.  As they are attacking and laughing at Lance something comes over the attacking kids and their eyes begin to glow.  There is a magic circle painted on the floor of the exhibit and the kids are in the middle of it.  Clearly the kids are under some spell, and Xander’s eyes are glowing yellow as well.

Sunnydale High has a new mascot.  Principal Flutie is showing off Herbert the Sunnydale Razorback, who is less a razorback and more a baby pig.  Buffy, Willow and Xander meet the new mascot, and clearly Herbert doesn’t like Xander.  When the two get close Xander appears uncomfortable and Herbert panics.  Xander is clearly different since the field trip, exhibiting much more confidence and aggression than he ever has before.  Xander’s love for Buffy has been twisted and now he seems overcome with lust as he sniffs her when she isn’t looking.

Willow, Giles and Buffy learn that Herbert is dead, but what they don’t know is that he was eaten alive by the hyena possessed kids, including Xander.  As Buffy is questioning Xander about his new and unpleasant behavior he attacks her, expressing his desire for a mate.  Buffy easily overcomes Xander while trying not to hurt him, and locks him in the book storage cage in the library.

It is soon discovered that the possessed kids killed Herbert, and the principle is enraged.  The group is called to the principal’s office where Mr. Flutie intends to punish them.  The pack, having grown more aggressive over time, kills and eats principal Flutie.

As the news of Flutie’s death begins to spread, the official story is that a pack of wild dogs killed him.  Buffy and the gang know better, and after researching the issue Giles has discovered

HERBERT NOOOOO!

that the students are possessed by animal spirits, specifically hyenas, and that these spirits must be returned to the animals from which they came.

Willow stays with Xander as Buffy and Giles return to the zoo in order to prepare for the ritual to exorcise the hyena spirits.  They encounter the zookeeper again who agrees to help them a bit too quickly, and who knows a lot about mysticism and hyena spirits.  The zookeeper reveals that in order to complete the transformation all of the possessed students must be present in the magic circle at the hyena exhibit.  Unfortunately Xander is locked up at school with Willow, and Giles believes the rest of the pack will hunt for him and endanger Willow.  Of course the pack does this and Xander breaks free.  Willow hides as all this is going on and remains unharmed.  Buffy finds the pack and lures them to the zoo.

The suspicious zookeeper reveals that it was he who created the magic circle and started all this craziness with the intent of becoming possessed by the hyena spirits himself.  He was unable to complete the ritual, and the kids did so accidentally.  What the zookeeper was missing was a predatory act at the end of the ritual, an act he intended to complete now by killing Willow.  With the ritual in progress, the hyena spirit leaves Xander in time for him to come to his senses and save Willow from the zookeeper.  The zookeeper then turns on Buffy, and she throws him into the cage with the actual hyenas where they immediately commit a predatory act and eat him.

Once again we see that Buffy is struggling in school, not because she isn’t intelligent (despite some compelling evidence to the contrary) but because her slayer duties require so much of her focus the rest of her life must suffer.  Fortunately for her Dr. Gregory, one of the only teachers at Sunnydale High that has proven to not be an ass or a fool up to this point, sees her potential and encourages her to study and excel in science.  This gives Buffy a boost to her scholastic ego and motivates her.  It is no surprise then that Dr. Gregory is killed the moment he is left alone in his classroom by an unseen attacker and dragged into a closet.

The next day, with Dr. Gregory’s absence, the class has the substitute science teacher Miss Natalie French.  It is clear that the boys in the class prefer the new teacher, and their reaction is so extreme it becomes clear something may be wrong here other than raging hormones.  Later that night Buffy is warned by Angel that a new vampire is in town and he’s serious business.

Ms. French, still driving the boys crazy, asks for volunteers to stay with her after school to help finish a project for the science fair, model praying mantis egg sacks.  She chooses Blayne the football hero to help first, with the second day belonging to Xander.  Later that day Cordelia Chase finds the headless body of Dr. Gregory in a cafeteria refrigerator.  Buffy believes this murder may be connected to the cryptic vampire warning she received from Angel the night before and resolves to patrol that evening looking Dr. Gregory’s killer.

On patrol Buffy finds the super-vamp Angel warned her about, with a giant hook for a hand and a seriously ugly face.  Before Buffy can jump the vamp Ms. French walks by with her groceries, and instead of running in terror she scares the crap outa the vampire.  The vampire takes a big sniff of Ms. French and runs for his life.

The next day Buffy reports to Giles that Ms. French might be something awful.  Running late to class Buffy looks in to see Ms. French teaching class.  She turns her head all the way around (referred to as The Exorcist Twist by Buffy) to smile at Buffy and be generally creepy.  Buffy warns Xander that the teacher he has a crush on is a monster, and of course Xander ignores her completely and goes to see Ms. French after class to work on the science project.

Xander arrives at Ms. French’s house and is offered a martini, which of course is drugged and he passes out within moments.  Xander awakens locked in a cage in a cellar full of headless bodies.  Blayne is in a cell next to Xander freaking out and weeping while pointing at Ms. French who is now a giant praying mantis.

After doing some research and speaking with a past colleague in an insane asylum Giles discovers Ms. French is a monster called a She-Mantis.  She abducts virgin males that she requires to fertilize her eggs, and then she bites their heads off.  Not surprisingly it was an encounter with a She-Mantis that put Giles friend in the asylum in the first place.

In preparation for fighting the She-Mantis Buffy show a rare display of scholarship and suggest that Giles record for her samples of bat sonar as that sound disrupts the nervous system of stand praying mantises. Dr. Gregory served her well.

After failing to find the She-Mantis, Buffy decides to force super-vamp claw hand to help her track down Ms. French.  After some convincing he decides to help and does track down the right house.  Claw vamp then attacks Buffy and is killed instantly.

In the basement the She-Mantis is dragging Xander out of his cage as Buffy and friends bust in.  The bat sonar does indeed work, and Buffy makes quick work of Ms. French.  Xander then takes a moment to destroy the eggs remaining in the basement.  A quick conversation on how the She-Mantis required virgins causes Xander to get very defensive and Blayne to threaten a lawsuit.

The episode ends in the science room closet back at Sunnydale High where a small egg sack is shown slightly moving in a darkened closet.

Summary

The Slayer plans to use her incredible physical prowess to become a cheerleader.  At the first tryout, Buffy meets Amy for the first time.  Amy is clearly apprehensive about tryouts, and

Amy Madison doesn't look like a witch!

has more spirit that talent.  During one of the first routines, a potential cheerleader begins to smoke and her hands catch on fire.  After Buffy puts out the burning student, Amy confides in her that she doesn’t really care about cheerleading, but her mother is pressuring her into it.  Neither Buffy nor Amy makes the squad, Buffy being first alternate and Amy third.  Amy is clearly worried about how her mother is going to react.  Cut too a boiling cauldron and hanging voodoo dolls with a chanting voice over.  This can’t be good.

Cordelia Chase, who is on the cheerleader squad, goes completely blind while taking her driving test (again).  This, among other things, leads Giles to believe that Amy might be a witch trying to clear the way for her to get on the cheerleading squad.  Willow performs a test to prove that indeed witchery is afoot.  Another cheerleader is injured, and Amy seems very fearful.  This reaction leads Buffy and team to believe while there is a witch, it might not be Amy.

Amy returns home and orders he mother to do her homework.  Amy is holding a piece of Buffy’s jewelry.  Buffy is clearly next on the witch’s list.

Do too previous injuries, Buffy is now a cheerleader.  While practicing Buffy begins acting strangely and throws a girl across the gym.  Clearly the team should call in another alternate, and Amy makes the team.  Buffy collapses and is too weak to move.

Giles deduces Buffy is dying, and to save her they needed Amy’s spell book.  While Xander and Willow watch Amy, Giles and Buffy head to Amy’s house to find the book.  After a brief conversation with “Amy’s Mother” Giles and Buffy discover that Amy and her mother have switched bodies.  Amy’s mother wanted to relive her high school glory days, and to do this she stole her daughter’s body.

Now this is a witch.

Buffy and Giles find the spell book, and head off to school to break the witch’s spell.  As Amy begins to cheer, Giles chants the spell that will reverse the body swap.  Amy’s mother, now still in Amy’s body, becomes weak and disoriented.  Amy and her mother revert to their own bodies.

Amy’s mother, now insane with rage, begins to cast a spell at buffy.  Using a mirror, Buffy reflects the spell back at Amy’s mother and she disappears.

Cut to the cheerleading trophy case where the trophy Amy’s mother won is kept.  Its eyes are moving.

It’s no surprise Buffy is in a cemetery late at night.  Practicing her Slayer talents with Giles the two find a ring that seems to interest Giles.  Cut to The Master delivering one of his always powerful soliloquies explaining that soon the Slayer’s greatest foe, The Anointed One, will rise from the ashes of five dead and deliver the Order of Aurelius (the order lead by The Master) from her constant annoyances.

The next day at Sunnydale High Buffy’s heart goes pitter pat as the handsome Owen asks her on a date.  Before Buffy can drift away into dreamland over Owen however Giles returns with news about the mysterious ring discovered the night before.  The ring has an engraving in it that connects it to a prophecy that does not bode well for the Slayer or Sunnydale.  The

Owen looks like a nice guy.

prophecy speaks of The Anointed One showing up and basically screwing up everything up, and it is to happen that same night.  The same night that Buffy is to go out with Owen.  After being obviously disappointed over the lost date, Buffy joins Giles to stake out The Anointed One and stop the prophecy.  As the two heroes wait vigilantly at a local cemetery for a few hours, absolutely nothing happens and Buffy is none too happy about the lost date.

Elsewhere in the city a van leaving the airport crashes.  Five passengers survive the wreck only to be killed when vampires attack the wreckage.

Owen is back the next day asking out the surprised Buffy again.  Despite the many concerns and warnings of Giles against a Slayer having a romantic life Buffy accepts the invitation as is once again dreaming of Owen.  Xander also voices his concerns about Buffy and Owen, though clearly his motivations are personal in nature.

Buffy begins to get ready for her date with the help of Xander and Willow.  Just as things look like they will go off smoothly Giles arrives with news.  He believes the five vampire victims from the night before are a portent of the upcoming Anointed One prophecy.  Giles speculates that Andrew Borba, a vampire victim from the bus who was covered in tattoos and tended to recite bible verses very loudly, will rise that very night as The Anointed One.  Buffy will not be swayed from Owen this time and refuses to track down what she thinks is another wild goose chase.  In order to get the date moving forward, Willow and Xander agree to go with Giles to the funeral home to keep an eye on Andrew Borba in case he rises from the grave.

Of course this time Giles is right and is immediately attacked by vampires on arriving at the funeral home.  After locking himself in a room in an attempt to escape, Will and Xander arrive and agree to go get Buffy to save the day.  Upon arriving at The Bronze Willow and Xander attempt to communicate to Buffy that there is vampire trouble without revealing the facts to Owen.   After an interesting few minutes they leave Owen and head off to the funeral home.

He looks like trouble.

Arriving at the funeral home, Buffy Xander and Willow are surprised to see that Owen has followed them.  Together the four begin looking around for clues.  They find one in the way of the tattooed crazy vampire Borba tearing up the place and shouting quotes from the bible.  After Owen is knocked out by the crazy vampire Buffy slays Borba by knocking him into a cremation oven.

At school the next day to Buffy’s surprise Owen not only wants to see her again, but had a great time getting knocked around the night before.  Unfortunately Buffy realizes that Giles isright, and she is too great a danger to Owen to continue.  She breaks it off gently and Giles tries to lift her spirits by reminding her she stopped the Anointed One and prevented the prophecy.

The Master in his underground lair welcomes The Anointed One in the form of an eight year old boy.  Buffy stopped a vampire, but not the prophecy.

Summary

The episode opens with buffy seemingly trapped in a mausoleum by The Master’s most powerful servant Luke.  As Luke lowers himself onto Buffy in an attempt to bite her, he is burned by the cross she is wearing around her neck (Given to her in the previous episode by Angel).   This diversion gives Buffy time to escape.

After catching up to Willow and Xander Buffy finds that Jesse is missing and is presumably being taken to The Master.  The Master, having realized that Buffy is the Slayer intends to use Jesse as bait to lure her too him.

The Master is a looker.

Willow shows off her Internet savvy by researching the ritual of The Harvest for Giles (who clearly fears computers more than monsters) and Buffy starts the search for Jesse.  Angel shows up again, this time at the mausoleum where Jesse is apparently being held.  He tells Buffy that The Harvest would be happening this very night and that it would be a bad idea to go in the mausoleum.  Again Angel smiles walks off into nowhere.  At this point Xander reveals that he has followed Buffy and intends to find Jesse with her.

Xander and Buffy do indeed find Jesse, who quickly leads them to a dead-end and reveals he has been turned into a vampire.  More vampires show up to capture The Slayer, but she and Xander make a hasty escape into the sunlight through a manhole cover.  Buffy’s escape angers The Master and he and Luke prepare for The Harvest.  Luke is anointed with The Masters blood in the shape of a star.

Giles and Willow discover that The Harvest is a ritual in which The Master can appoint one of his undead minions as his surrogate.  As the minion feeds, The Master will gain power from the souls of the living that are killed.  This additional power would be enough to allow the Master to escape his prison under Sunnydale and wreak havoc of his own.  In a rare show of intuition, Xander suggests that the only suitable place for The Harvest would be The Bronze.

Jesse and the other vampires do indeed converge on The Bronze and quickly take control of it.  Luke leads the group, and people are lead to him on stage one by one to be fed upon.  Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles show up after the carnage has begun, and the combat begins.  Buffy begins her Slayer duties on her way to Luke, and even Xander gets an accidental kill as Jesse stumbles into his stake.  Luke proves to be a formidable opponent and appears to get the best of Buffy as the fight begins.  Tricking the vampire into thinking the sun was shining through the club window, Luke is distracted long enough for Buffy to get the kill.

The Master cries out in rage, railing against the magic barrier that holds him prisoner beneath the city.  With Luke destroyed and The Harvest over, The Master remains trapped…for now.